Bring Her Home
by bakane
Summary: "But whenever everything seemed to be lost, hope always rescued them from the deepest depths of despair. And so, this time he would hope, for the both of them." - The white raven had salvaged the city from damnation, but at what price? The Titans embark on a new journey, to the place where it all began, in search of their lost friend who meant more to them than they ever realized.
1. Chapter 1 The End

**Author's Note:**

This is purely a fanfiction and some of the quotes are taken directly from the animated show (All credits given to the producers of the show Teen Titans)

* * *

He felt his body tense upon contact with the cold, hard ground. His hypersensitive ears were ringing painfully at the noise of explosions and his body was aching in pain. A loud roar echoed from above and there were shrill cries coming from a small girl in the distance.

"Beast Boy!" the girl cried and by the proximity of her voice, he knew she was right beside him. The green boy tried to respond but his mouth would not open. There was another explosion and a sickening crash. Beast Boy felt the vibrations on the ground and knew that the girl was shuddering. He heard her small footsteps moving away.

The boy gathered all his strength to open his eyes. He immediately located the girl, a few meters away from him. The child version of Raven was crying beside their leader's listless body.

"Get up!" she sobbed as she knelt down beside him, "Robin, please! Get up!"

There were thundering footsteps approaching. A large shadow was cast over their bodies.

"Farewell, dear daughter," the voice daunted. The four eyes of the towering demon, shone in bright red.

"No…" Beast Boy whispered as he tried to move his body forward. He only managed to lift his hand towards her direction, wishing to protect her but knowing he was only making a futile attempt. An infernal blast rained down in Raven's direction and then there was a deafening blow. Beast Boy's mouth ran dry. His hand fell back, limply, onto the ground. He stared in horror at the place where the girl had been. He was dreading what he would witness once the dust cloud cleared.

But to his astonishment, the smoke cleared to reveal a perfectly unharmed Raven. One of her hands was glowing in white energy.

"But…" Raven's eyes were wide open in shock, "How…?"

"You may have retained some trace of my power, but you are still no threat to me, _little girl_," the demon taunted, "I am your creator, your master. You exist only to serve me. You survive only because I allow it."

The girl hung her head, her violet hair covering the sides of her face.

'Don't listen to him,' Beast Boy urged her in his head. She had to stay alive. She had to keep fighting.

"What hope can a mere child have of defeating her all-powerful father?" the voice above them roared in triumph.

Raven's eyebrows contorted in anger. Then, finally, she opened her eyes and stared up bravely at the red demon. Beast Boy observed that she was no longer trembling, there was no fear left behind in her violet orbs, only determination.

"You may have created me…" she stated as she stood up. For a moment, Beast Boy was blinded by a pure burst of white, so bright that he had to close his eyes tightly to save them from blindness. His sensitive ears twitched as he heard a small explosion, and when the light finally dimmed, it revealed not a child, but a sixteen year old teenager with long sapphire blue hair and white robes. It was her. It was their Raven.

"…But you were_ never _my father," she finished, her voice now much stronger, firm, and mature.

She raised her hands, both shining in bright white light, and shot a broad beam directly towards Trigon's stomach. The monster roared and staggered back in pain.

There were groans as the others on the ground began to move. Cyborg and Starfire helped each other up and Robin stood up while massaging his head. Beast Boy held himself up, his knees shaking slightly, but he had gained the necessary strength to stand from Raven's return. They all stared silently at their friend, who was seething in anger whilst walking up confidently to her demonic father.

"Fathers are _kind_! Father's _protect_ you! Fathers _raise _you!" she finished each sentence by aiming a strong burst of white energy towards Trigon. He was emitting horrible cries of pain and agony. The white energy was now encircling around him. There was a loud crash as the demon was taken down onto its knees, holding its head in torment.

"I was protected by the monks of Azarath," Raven shouted, "I was raised by my friends!" The others marched forward and placed their hands on each other. Robin and Beast Boy placed their hands on each side of Raven's shoulder. They felt a strange surge come over their bodies as the power Raven gave them for protection moved back into its former owner.

"They are my family," a burst of energy encased them as Raven emphasized her words; "This is my home. And you are not welcome here!"

The others watched in amazement as their friend rose above, into the air, encased in pure white energy.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" she exclaimed and a shape of a white raven cast over Trigon. His face froze in fear and then he made another painful howl. His body seemed to be vaporizing by the light and after another a second, the entire world seemed to be consumed by it.

Beast Boy's eyes were shut tightly but he tried to listen intently with his ears. There were sounds of loud flashes and wind blowing in the air. Then for a moment, all was silent. He kept his eyes closed until he heard a few murmurs from the distance. There were several footsteps and he unmistakably heard the sound of people laughing and shouting.

His eyes shot open quickly and he looked around in surprise. Jump City was in its proper, undamaged condition. There was no trace of Trigon. People were walking on the streets again, no longer petrified as stone statues. The sky was a shade of beautiful sky-blue instead of a crimson red, and was decorated with white fluffy clouds, not black ugly crows. Everything was back to normal.

"Raven, that was…!" Beast Boy shouted in complete awe, up into the air where Raven had been floating. He stopped mid-sentence and closed his mouth.

He looked around, feeling disoriented and thinking that his eyes were deceiving him. Beast Boy glanced at the others and they were all eyeing him with the same look of half-confusion and half-concern.

Robin was the first to speak, his voice solemn and serious as ever, "Where's Raven?"


	2. Chapter 2 The Search

**Author's Note:**

This is purely a fanfiction and some of the quotes are taken directly from the animated show (All credits given to the producers of the show Teen Titans)

*The conversations in italics are indications of flashbacks

* * *

The team decided to split up in search for their lost friend. Starfire would try to seek her out from the sky. Cyborg would check back at the tower. Robin and Beast Boy stated they would thoroughly search the city on ground. Robin would travel on his motorcycle. Beast Boy transformed into a green Bloodhound, in hopes of picking up her scent.

Starfire was worried sick for her friend Raven. She was the first one out of the group whom Raven had 'bonded' with. During the incident with the Puppet Master, Raven and Starfire had momentarily switched bodies. This accident, although bringing many disastrous results, allowed the two very different girls to finally learn about each other. Starfire couldn't understand how emotionless and unfeeling her friend Raven could be. However, she was able to gain respect for Raven's self-control as she experienced the difficulty of handling the telekinetic powers of her friend. And in turn, Raven had grown to admire Starfire's endless optimism and unbridled joy.

Their friendship was close and their bond didn't have to be proven through frequent trips to the mall of shopping or the painting of the toenails. Starfire knew that Raven rarely enjoyed such girlish events and that the only times she consented was in favor to her endless pleas. So in return, Starfire would every now and then join Raven in meditation or during her study of the magical arts.

Starfire knew she had to find her friend. If she lost her, it would be like losing a sister.

* * *

Cyborg rushed inside the tower in search of his small dark friend. He first checked the interior of the tower. The training room, the common room, the hallway, even Raven's forbidden room. But there were no signs of her. Cyborg shouted in frustration as he went to the main tower system to scan for Raven's signal all across the city. It killed him that he couldn't even get a reading on her.

Cyborg knew that he and Raven probably had the weakest relationship out of the other Titan members. But he also believed that they shared the most special and unique bond. He and Raven barely held any similarities or interests. The girl rarely talked or joined in video games with the others. But Cyborg respected her silence and her preference for space and privacy. And Raven tended not to question Cyborg's opinions or actions either.

He felt obligated to protect her, like she was his little sister. She never spoke much but Cyborg knew that inside she cared, probably the most, out of the entire team. After all, she was the only one who stuck with him when he lost his T-car. She assisted him whenever he fixed or upgraded it; it had become like tradition and even though it was one of the only activities they engaged together in, it was meaningful.

She treated him as just another human being, not a half-metal monster. And for that, he was ever grateful. They shared a mutual feeling of trust, of understanding, and of platonic love.

* * *

Robin drove around the block on his motorcycle but there were no signs of dark-blue hair or indigo colored robes. The communicator he clutched in his left-hand was silent, indicating that the others weren't having any luck as well.

"Raven…" Robin muttered to himself, "Where are you?"

'Give me a sign, anything. Lead us to where you are, like you always did before,' Robin sighed inwardly as he circled around the same block again.

Robin always felt connected with Raven, as he had once let her inside his mind. He felt that he understood her best out of all the Titans and vice versa. He knew that she was always trying to restrain her emotions and fight the darkness inside of her. He knew about her insecurities and her anxieties, her concerns and her less-obvious emotions. He rarely pried, knowing that the girl enjoyed privacy, much like how he did as well.

Whenever she went out on her own, although sometimes her actions were cryptic and her motives were unknown, he always believed that she did what was best for the team. He found himself quite similar to Raven's character. They were quiet, serious, and hard-working. They were independent and strong. They always prioritized the well-being of others than their own.

But they were also the complete opposite. He was dogged and stubborn when it came to his goals; he had chased Slade down, to the near level of obsession, and had almost driven himself mad by the end of it. Meanwhile Raven was always the voice of reason. She remained calm and unshaken throughout most of her battles. She never lost her senses when the situation aggravated. She kept everyone in balance and in check. She stood up and executed plans whenever he failed in his duties as a leader. She was their friend. She was their watchful protector. She was their shadow, but she was their light. She was their stability. She was their sanity. They needed her, desperately. And Robin would stop at nothing to find her.

* * *

Beast Boy sped around every block, every corner, and every alley. He visited the small range of shops and stores that Raven went to during her leisure time. The usual corners he had seen her sit at her favorite cafe and bookstore were vacant.

There was only one more place he could think of where Raven could be. He raced in desperation, until his feet brought him to the old, abandoned library in the outskirts of the town. Quickly, he jumped inside, and morphed into an eagle to fly all the way down to the bottom, avoiding the tiring staircases. He ignored the stiffness of his body and the aches leftover from the battle with Trigon. Right now, he had no time to focus on his injuries. Upon reaching the floor, he turned back into his human form.

He was back in the chamber where it had all started. Most of the room seemed to be battered up; there were remains of rock and cement on the ground from the statue of the hand that Raven had stood on when she became the portal.

"Raven?" he asked with uncertainty. His question was answered only by his own echo.

Beast Boy looked around the room and from his animal instincts knew that it was empty. His ears drooped in disappointment. He had searched for nearly four hours and Raven was nowhere to be found. He sat down on the cold stone floor, trying to sort out of his thoughts and feelings.

There was emptiness inside and definitely a large amount of sadness and grief. There was also anger rising in him. Where could she have gone? Why would she leave? What had happened to her?

He slammed his fist down on the ground in frustration and anguish.

"Beast Boy?" a voice called out from behind. The green changeling jolted up and turned around quickly. He was too distressed to have sensed anyone approaching.

He was saddened to see that it wasn't Raven. It was the other Titans.

"Did you find her?" he asked with a deep sense of longing. He already knew the answer to the question from their dim faces.

"I couldn't find her," Robin shook his head.

"I have searched all of the sky but could not find any trace of our friend Raven," Starfire said in a gloomy voice much unlike her usual tone.

"She's not at the tower," Cyborg sighed as he tapped around a few buttons on his mechanical arm, "and I can't even get a signal from her."

"We have to keep looking," Beast Boy cried, "She has to be somewhere!"

"But where could she be?" Starfire looked anxious, "Perhaps she has been taken by Trigon?"

"No, Raven defeated Trigon," Beast Boy retorted, "I saw him disappear into the light."

"Maybe…she left?" Cyborg suggested tentatively.

"Raven's a pretty hard person to track…" Robin contemplated on the idea, "especially if she doesn't want to be found."

"Why wouldn't she want to be found?" Beast Boy shouted loudly, "She's in danger, I know it! Something happened after she defeated Trigon. There has to be an explanation for why she disappeared!"

"Beast Boy, you need to calm down," Robin said, resting his hand gently on the boy's shoulder. The green boy did not answer but merely nodded rather reluctantly.

"We'll find her, no matter what it takes," Robin said with determination, "We won't give up until she's back with us."

"First, let's get back to the tower," Cyborg proposed, "Do a little research from there. I'm sure we'll be able to find something."

"We always do," Robin agreed and told the team they would now retreat back to their home.

They turned towards the opening of the chamber and walked out. Robin stopped midway and looked back at Beast Boy who remained stationary.

"Beast Boy, let's go," Robin said firmly, although he was careful to make sure it didn't sound like an order.

"Yeah… Don't worry," Beast Boy muttered weakly, "I'll catch up."

Robin seemed to hesitate, but soon left, leaving Beast Boy all alone in the dark.

Beast Boy looked around the room once more, memories flooding him. He was determined to protect her and keep Slade from entering the tower. He was mad when he thought she had given up, walking out of the safety haven by her own free will. He was touched by her final farewell and her last attempts to protect them from the apocalypse. He was terrified when he saw her chant the prophecy. He was horrified to see the red marks appear across her pale body. He was frightened as her body began to disintegrate into the portal. He was lost when he thought she was gone. He was utterly relieved when he found out that she was alive, even if she was not the Raven he used to know. He was overwhelmingly joyful when he realized that she had returned, completely, as her usual self. And now it seemed destiny was playing a cruel trick on them. He was back to square one.

He was mad that she was gone, angry that the world had taken her away again, furious at himself for not being able to protect her.

He was frustrated that she was nowhere to be found.

He was confused, not knowing what had happened to her.

He was worried sick, his mind drifting to all the troublesome scenarios Raven could be caught in at the moment.

He was also perplexed by all the emotions he were feeling. The deep attachment he felt towards his dark friend, a connection he had never found so strong before. Only recently, from the episodes of her absence, had he realized what a significant part she was in his life.

* * *

_"__I…I thought you didn't like me," Raven said quietly as she rubbed her head from her injury._

_"__Thought you didn't like me," Beast Boy said sheepishly._

_The two exchanged a look of understanding, both grinning silently at each other._

* * *

He had never gotten along beautifully with Raven. He was never sure what the girl thought of him. He assumed that her feelings towards him weren't all positive, considering that he annoyed the living daylights out of her with his jokes and silly pranks. It was incredibly ironic that the way they bonded, how they truly became friends, was by him invading her mind and messing with her most private thoughts.

Beast Boy smiled inwardly as he thought about her, feeling a bit warm for the first time in days.

* * *

_"__Why are ducks so funny?" Beast Boy asked, then said the punch line without waiting too long for an answer, "Because they're always quacking jokes!"_

_He laughed, seemingly being the only one to have found it amusing. Robin and Cyborg both cringed from the front seats of the car. Starfire seemed to be pondering on the joke._

_ "__Pull over," Raven said dryly, "I think I'm going to be sick."_

_ "__Oh, I see!" Starfire laughed, "It is humorous because ducks lack the large brain necessary for the telling of jokes."_

_ "__Actually Starfire," Robin explained to the confused alien girl, "it just wasn't humorous."_

_ "__Huh?" Beast Boy looked deeply surprised at the other's reactions._

_ "__Because Beast Boy lacks the large brain necessary for making jokes," Raven commented rather sharply._

_ "__Aw, c'mon Raven, you know I'm hilarious!" Beast Boy protested, "And I'm not going to give up until I get you to smile."_

_He seemed to think seriously for a moment then said, "Okay, why did the aardvark cross the road?"_

_ "__To beat up the idiot telling jokes about it?" Raven answered back tonelessly._

_Robin snickered and Cyborg laughed quite loudly while Starfire looked confused as ever, asking whether or not an aardvark was some form of duck. _

_Beast Boy sighed in defeat._

* * *

Beast Boy knew that his jokes and incessant pranks bothered Raven. It never gave him a reason to stop though. The way he continuously prodded her, it was the only way to drag some form of emotion out of her. The girl was always so reserved. It was amusing to see her fuming in annoyance. He had taken it, many times, too far. There was the time when he had called her "creepy" when she refused to join in extreme sports with him. Looking back, he felt ashamed and stupid. He had apologized, of course, but he knew how much pain he had caused her at the time.

* * *

_"__Raven?" Beast Boy cautiously knocked on her door, "It's me."_

_There was no answer from inside._

_ "__Look," Beast Boy said quietly, "I'm sorry."_

_ "__For what?" her voice came out weakly from behind the thick door, "You're not the one who-_

_ "__No," Beast Boy cut her off, "I'm sorry that…he broke your heart."_

_He inwardly slapped himself. That wasn't the reason why he had knocked on her door. He was there to apologize for cutting her down with his words._

_ "__I know it was all a lie. But he was the only person who ever made me feel like I wasn't…creepy," her voice sounded so painful._

_Beast Boy didn't know what to say. _

_ "__And don't try to tell me I'm not," Raven snapped, with a more biting tone, as if she knew what he was about to say. _

_ "__Okay, fine, you're way creepy," Beast Boy admitted then added softly, "But that doesn't mean you have to stay locked in your room. You think you're alone, Raven…but you're not."_

_He wasn't sure if that was the best thing to say at the moment. There was only silence coming from her room. He wondered whether or not he should leave her alone now, hoping his words hadn't exacerbated the situation. Then suddenly the door opened. Raven stared up at him for a moment, her eyes glimmering with a strange light, and then approached him quickly, embracing him into a tight hug. She was holding onto him, as if her life depended on it. _

_ "__Uh…" Beast Boy was flustered, not used to such affectionate actions from the girl. He untangled himself from her and stared into her violet eyes, ready to say something charming and reassuring…until he was interrupted by a malodorous ball smacking him across the face._

* * *

Beast Boy chuckled lightly. Cyborg had stomped all over the two's first ever intimate encounter. He remembered how in the aftermath of it, Raven gently picked up the stinky ball from the ground and slammed it into Cyborg's stomach with a sinister smile, knocking him out for several minutes. He heard the warm sound of laughter escape from her lips as well. It was a beautiful sound and he knew he had to hear it again. Perhaps it was a silly reason, but from then on Beast Boy became even more driven to make her laugh.

It was fun to engage in a light banter with her; he never actually won the argument but he enjoyed every single one of them. Her comebacks were the best out of all the other Titans. He missed the sarcastic tone of her voice whenever she responded to his stupid tactics.

* * *

_ "__You wimps think you can take down Adonis?" the man in a huge, buff, robotic su__it taunted the Titans while cracking his knuckles._

_ "__Dude, it is totally brunged!" Beast Boy paused and then attempted to correct himself, "branged!" _

_ "__Ooh, bad grammar. That ought to scare him," Raven said sarcastically from behind him._

* * *

Beast Boy frowned. That was a memory of another nightmare. On that day, the chemicals had messed with his DNA and had unleashed something primal. He grew rude and hostile, being consumed by the beast within him.

He shuddered at the memory of trying to hurt Raven, wanting to fight her and tear her apart from limb to limb. He probably would have, if the other Titans hadn't intervened. And he was aghast when Robin and the others told him that he had transformed into a beast and kidnapped Raven from the tower. How they had found her in his teeth. He still remembered the way she soundlessly floated on the medical bed next to him, not moving at all.

When Beast Boy finally regained his sanity, he was relieved to find out that he hadn't been the one to hurt her. But he was still troubled nonetheless. The beast was still inside him and he couldn't help but play all the 'what-if' sequences in his head. What if he lost control? What if he had hurt her?

* * *

_"__That thing," Beast Boy said in a shaky voice, "That beast…came from inside me. And it's still there. I can feel it."_

_"__Good." _

_Her voice rang through his brain and completely took him off guard. He looked up at her in bewilderment. For how could there be an upside to having a savage beast locked up inside?_

_"__If it wasn't for that beast, I might not be here right now," Raven said calmly, as she sat down next to him on the rocks, her eyes piercing into his._

_"__Having that thing inside doesn't make you an animal," she continued, her voice soft and relaxing, "Knowing when to let it out is what makes you a man."_

_Beast Boy titled his head sideways and looked at her. She probably didn't realize the extent to which her words affected him. Through her presence, he had gone from emotional turmoil to complete serenity. He wondered how she could do it; how she could make someone feel so soothed and relaxed in a matter of seconds._

_"__So…Maybe you should call me…Beast Man from now on?" he stood up and posed heroically, hoping to lighten the mood in gratitude for cheering him up._

_"__We're having a moment here," Raven remained stolid, "Don't ruin it."_

_He quickly sat back down, still grinning rather dumbly._

_After a long moment of silence, he asked in persistence, "Beast Dude?"_

_She groaned loudly in response._

* * *

Beast Boy looked down at the ground. His emotions were overcoming him and he felt his sight become slightly blurry from impending tears.

"Raven…" his voice trembled, "I miss you…"


	3. Chapter 3 The Rift (1)

There were noisy voices coming from outside the Titans' tower. The sound of incessant knocking echoed loudly through the common room. Cyborg got up from the breakfast table, evidently annoyed. He stormed off to greet the unwanted visitors at the front door of the tower. He slammed the entrance open to find a large crowd of people and the blinding light of camera flashes. Cyborg quickly put up his metallic hand in order to shield his human eye from the bright light.

"The door's opened! Mike, get the camera ready!"

"We are here live on the Teen Titans headquarters and…"

Cyborg opened his eyes and, to his horror, saw hordes of cameras and microphones being pointed at his general direction.

"Aw man," Cyborg sighed, "Not again."

"Sir, how does it feel like to have survived the world apocalypse?"

"Were the Teen Titans responsible at all for the end of the world?"

"How did you manage to bring back prosperity?"

"Why have the Teen Titans been inactive for the past week?"

"Is there are a reason for the sudden disappearance of-

There was a loud scream of delight that emitted from the back of the crowd. Cyborg cringed as the voices grew louder, which he believed would have been impossible just a few seconds ago. A figure with spiky hair had appeared beside Cyborg, clearly making the situation worse.

"It's _him_! It's Robin!"

"Is it on? Is it _on_?"

"Get a good, long shot of him, Mike!"

"Robin, how do you feel as the leader of the team to have saved the entire world from damnation?"

"Do you feel satisfied with your team's role in Jump City?"

"Have you ever-

"Enough!" Robin roared. The shutters of the camera silenced and the crowd of people stared at Robin in surprise and anticipation.

"We have nothing else to say to the press," Robin said firmly, "Please leave."

"If you can answer a few questions-

"I'm sorry but the answer is no," Robin deadpanned.

"But you saved the world from a living hell!" one of the reporters protested angrily from the lack of cooperation, "Don't you have anything to say?"

"We were just doing our job," Robin said shortly, "Now, please excuse us…"

Robin pulled Cyborg into the room and began to close the door. The crowd of people fought back, trying to keep the entrance open and attempting to shove their cameras into the tower one last time, until the door finally slammed shut.

The two stared at the door in silence. There were loud noises from the other side but after a while the sounds began to die out.

"Don't answer the door next time," Robin cautioned then walked back into the common room without another word. Cyborg merely nodded then followed. The two sat down on the coaches in front of the television. It took a while until one of them decided to speak.

"So did you manage to get any clues on Raven?" Cyborg questioned.

"Nothing," Robin grunted in frustration, "Not a single trace."

"It's like…she never even existed…" Cyborg sighed.

"I don't understand," Robin growled, his eyes narrowing, "How can someone just vanish like that? There has to be some sort of an explanation…"

The door to the common room slid open and Starfire floated into the room.

"Friends…? Starfire said carefully, "I thought I heard loud shouting…"

"It was just the media," Robin brushed off, "Don't worry about it, Starfire."

She nodded in response then questioned, "Were we able to find anything about our friend Raven?"

"No," Robin and Cyborg answered in union.

"I see…" Starfire landed on the ground with a grim expression.

She looked around and noticed the absence of a certain green-skinned friend.

"Where is Beast Boy?" she asked.

"He never came in yesterday," Robin explained, "He's still outside in the city, searching."

"But he has been looking for the entire week!" Starfire's eyes widened, "We must assist! He must be all tired and alone and-

The door slid open abruptly and Beast Boy came inside. He looked terrible. There were black circles under his eyes. His clothes were dirty and stained. His hair was disheveled and unkempt.

"Beast Boy! You are here!" Starfire shouted happily, though her cheeriness deflated as soon as she saw the sight of his condition. Beast Boy ignored her comment. He flopped himself on the coach next to the others and looked down at the ground, wearing a very sullen face.

"Dude, you need to rest," Cyborg told him with a worried expression.

"I'm fine," Beast Boy said simply.

"Are you kidding me?" Cyborg frowned, "You look like you haven't slept, for like, a month."

"I'm fine," Beast Boy repeated himself, this time with more impatience. He was quick to change the subject, "Did you find anything?"

Robin shook his head.

Beast Boy growled, "She's got to be somewhere."

"I know that," Robin bit back. He was already on the edge due to the pressures as the team leader and the responsibilities he felt over Raven's disappearance.

"What have you guys been _doing _this whole time? Huh?" Beast Boy began to raise his voice, "Looking at old books and messing with fancy gadgets isn't going to find her! We need to be out _there_, looking for her!"

"Do you seriously think that if Raven was out there, we wouldn't be able to track her down?" Cyborg raised his eyebrow, "My system tells me that she's nowhere on earth."

"I don't care what your stupid machines say! She's out there!" Beast Boy shouted as he pounced off the coach to face the other Titans, "We're not looking hard enough!"

"What do you mean we're not looking hard enough?" Cyborg roared as, he too, got up from his seat to tower over his short friend, "Just because we haven't been sniffing around the city as a green dog all day long doesn't mean we haven't been doing anything!"

"Then how come you haven't found her yet!"

"Well, how come you've got nothing on her either!"

"What makes you-?" Beast Boy was cut off by Robin, who had rather forcefully pushed the two apart from the middle. Starfire looked extremely relieved.

"That's enough," he said roughly, "We can't afford to be fighting right now."

"We've been searching for the past two weeks," Cyborg groaned loudly, "If she was here, we should have found her by now! So what's the point?"

"What did you say?" Beast Boy said through gritted teeth.

"I said – I don't see what the point is anymore!" Cyborg yelled, "I think we all know what we've been doing for the past few days!"

"What do you mean," Beast Boy snarled.

"We've been in denial!" Cyborg bellowed, "Face it! Raven defeated Trigon, the most evil demon in the universe, who just so happened to be her father and creator. There had got to be some consequences for doing that!"

"Do you mean to say that…?" Starfire asked weakly.

"She's gone!" Cyborg cried out in exasperation, "She must have sacrificed herself in order to defeat Trigon and protect the city! She's gone, all right? _She is_ _gone_!"

His voice shook a bit as he began to calm down, "And none of…none of this, is going to change that."

There was a moment of silence.

"No."

The other Titans faced the green changeling.

"I don't accept that," Beast Boy said firmly.

"That's right," Robin finally opened his mouth, "We can't give up on Raven yet. Not after everything she's done for us. We'll just have to keep searching and retrace our steps until we find her."

Cyborg looked down at Robin then at Beast Boy. He didn't look angry or frustrated anymore. He appeared defeated and too tired to talk.

"You guys do want you want," Cyborg murmured as he turned his back towards them. He proceeded to walk out the corridor.

"Wait, please do not go!" Starfire tried to stop him but the door slammed shut and the man was gone.

"Leave him," Beast Boy said viciously.

"But we must all look for Raven together," Starfire cried.

"I said leave him!" Beast Boy rounded on her, his fangs protruding in anger.

"Hey!" Robin intersected, eyeing the green boy with a harsh glance, "Beast Boy, enough is enough. We'll find Raven but not if you keep acting like this."

"Acting like what?" Beast Boy dared.

"Like the time you unleashed the beast," Robin narrowed his eyes, "Beast Boy, taking out your anger out on us isn't going to resolve anything. You need to stop acting as if we're your enemies."

"Well maybe _you_ should stop acting like you know everything and quit boss everyone around just because you're the team leader!" Beast Boy pointed his finger at Robin in accusation, "Because right now, you're pretty much sucking at it!"

"I'm doing the best I can," Robin swallowed back his anger and tried to reply back in a calm manner.

"Whatever," Beast Boy snapped as he turned his back on the other Titans, "Don't even bother trying anymore."

"I'll find her on my own," he stated, then stormed out of the room.


	4. Chapter 4 The Rift (2)

The tension from the morning argument continued on to the next day. There was an awkward silence as Starfire entered the common room that would have been empty without Cyborg's presence. He was sitting at the kitchen table, looking down at a plate of bacon and half-eaten toast. Starfire eyed the tin man cautiously before finally opening her mouth.

"It is a good morning, is it not?" she said nervously, not knowing what else to say.

"I guess," Cyborg mumbled back. He didn't look angry but Starfire knew well not to push her friend after yesterday's explosion.

"Where is Robin?" Starfire asked timidly.

"In his room."

"And…Beast Boy?"

"I don't know."

"Did he…leave the tower? Perhaps we should go look," Starfire suggested, in desperate hope of continuing the conversation.

"I think it's best if we left him alone right now," Cyborg replied quietly.

"Oh…" Starfire paused then made a tiny grin, "Have you had finished the breakfast already? Maybe we can share a slice of pizza or a-

"I'm done," Cyborg snapped. He immediately regretted biting at the alien girl, who looked deeply crestfallen at his comment.

"Sorry Star," he said slowly, "I didn't mean to shout. It's just…"

The room grew silent as Cyborg couldn't find the right words to say.

"I cooked some extra bacon and eggs for you," Cyborg cleared his throat as he shoved a plate of food towards Starfire's direction. He pulled out a bottle of mustard from a drawer and set it on the table. He tried his best to smile at her, "Just the way you like them."

Starfire nodded gratefully, "Thank you."

"I'm going to go train for a little while," Cyborg said quickly. After another short moment of silence, he exited out of the room.

Starfire walked to the kitchen and sat down at the deserted table. The tower was so silent, it was eerie. Starfire couldn't stand it – the silence, the discomfort, the tension – it made the tower, which she called home, seem so foreign. She glanced down at a round plate with a few strands of bacon and two fried eggs, a bit burnt on the sides. Starfire reached out and grabbed the bottle of mustard, then began to squeeze the yellow paste onto her food. She picked up one of the eggs with a fork and shoved it into her mouth. It was sharp, pungent, and cold. The stinging flavor of her eggs, which would have normally pleased her, brought her no satisfaction or fulfillment. She felt empty. That was all she had been feeling recently, emptiness.

Deciding that any more isolation would lead to her insanity, Starfire abruptly stood up and hurriedly ran out of the common room. She was in dire need of some company. She floated across the corridor and found the door to Robin's room.

She knocked cautiously. There was no answer. She once again knocked but there was no reply.

"Robin?" Starfire called out, "Please, may I enter?"

The room remained dormant for a while until it suddenly slid open. Starfire peered inside. The room was a mess. It was dark and dusty. The only light inside the room was coming from an overhead light above a large desk that had documents scattered all across it. The wall was covered with newspaper clippings about crime activity in Jump City. There were papers littered on the floor. Starfire noticed a familiar symbol on one of the documents – a dreadful mark printed in bold red – the mark of Scath.

Robin was standing in front of his desk. He was leaning forward, simply staring down at the jumble of items on his desk.

"I am wondering if you might wish to-

"No," Robin cut shortly without turning his head towards her direction.

-talk," Starfire finished quietly.

"Thanks…" Robin added solemnly, "But I need to figure out what happened. I have to find her."

"Agreed," Starfire smiled weakly, "And perhaps if you were to take a break, the answer would be easier to-

"I can't," Robin said sharply.

"But if you continue to-

"Don't you get it Starfire?" Robin shouted and angrily turned towards her, "I can't!"

"Robin…" Starfire looked at him with a sad expression, "We are all most upset but we must not-

"No, you don't understand!" Robin argued back, "I can't stop until I find her."

His hand grabbed the side of his head as he felt another migraine resurface, "I let her go. I let her disappear."

"But that was not your-

"Something happened to Raven and I can't find her!" Robin roared, "Don't you understand that? This is my responsibility! I'm the team leader! This is my fault!"

Robin shouted in frustration and slammed his desk with his fist. Several documents and electrical devices fell off the table.

"It was most certainly not your fault," Starfire tried to comfort him, "Robin, you have done your best. We all have."

"No," Robin shook his head violently, "I could have done something. I _should have _done something. Beast Boy was right… For this whole week, I've accomplished nothing. I promised you guys that I would bring her back…"

"You did bring her back," Starfire argued, "Our friend returned and was able to defeat Trigon thanks to you Robin."

"But what's the point," Robin shook his head, "She's gone now. I broke my promise. If only I was stronger…I could have defeated Trigon. There…there had to be another way. There _had to be_."

"Only friend Raven could have defeated Trigon," Starfire said sadly, "There was nothing that could have been done..."

"Don't say that!" Robin growled, "I can still fix this! I can figure out a way to get her back!"

"Robin… I would want nothing more than for our friend to return," Starfire said softly, "But you must not hurt yourself while trying to save her."

"That's not what's important right now, Star, what's important is that-

"Please!" Starfire cried, "You must not say such words!"

Robin fell silent. Starfire's eyes began to glimmer with large drops of tears.

"Can you not see what is happening to us?" Starfire whispered, "Our friends are starting to drift apart. It is beginning to look a lot like…"

"Star…" Robin sighed.

"…like the future that I have once visited," Starfire sobbed and began to shudder, "Robin, I do not wish for us to end up in such a horrible future!"

"Star…that's not going to happen," Robin reassured her, but his voice shook from his own uncertainty. He was beginning to realize what an enormous gap Raven had left behind, a hole that he, even as the team's leader, could never fill.

"Robin, we need our friend Raven back," Starfire said glumly. Her hands reached out and softly touched his shoulder in comfort.

"But we also need our leader."

Robin said nothing but reached out to touch Starfire's. He felt the warmth of her skin for a few moments before gently pulling her hand off of his shoulder.

"You should go…" Robin said quietly.

Starfire merely nodded. She took a few steps backwards but kept her face forward, staring at Robin. Her large, bright green eyes were pleading with him silently. But he couldn't face her now. The door quickly shut and he was once again engulfed by the darkness of his room.

"I'm sorry," Robin whispered, to no one in particular.


	5. Chapter 5 The Struggle (1)

Cyborg was a cynical man. This he could not deny.

Cyborg loved Raven. Loved her as a friend, loved her as a team member, and loved her as a little sister.

He found it ironic to think of Raven as his younger sibling. He was a year or two older, but at most times, she acted more mature and adult-like than he ever could.

He had always felt connected with her. Sure, they have had arguments in the past, but most of them were minor and insignificant – often harmless quarrels over the volume of noise or the missing whereabouts of the remote control. He was always careful not to cross the boundaries she laid upon. He wasn't as nagging and nosy as Beast Boy; he knew when she wanted space and he respected that.

There was a loud crashing sound as Cyborg dropped the large dumbbells onto the floor. He shook his head, his body tired from the intense workout and his head throbbing from his own thoughts. The dumbbells left a small crater in the ground but they were quickly dismissed.

Cyborg began to doubt himself.

He spent half his life wondering about his identity: was he a machine or was he a man? Raven, one of the few people who had accepted him for who he was, always made him believe that the answer did not matter. What mattered was how he thought of himself. Along with her and the rest of the Titans, he truly believed in the purity of his human heart.

But with her recent disappearance, he felt his mind begin to wander to the brink of insanity.

Cyborg cared for Raven, so much that he didn't understand the emotions he were feeling regarding her disappearance. He didn't know the reasons behind his outburst towards Beast Boy. Cyborg couldn't understand why he was so adamant on arguing that his dear friend was no longer alive. If he truly cared about her, would he have given up her? Was his bond towards her so shallow that he would have lost faith on her already?

But for a strange, twisted reason, Cyborg could not hope. He was not confident like Robin, trusting like Beast Boy, or optimistic like Starfire.

How fitting his name was to him. He truly felt like a cyborg, dead and unfeeling. A machine made of metal and no emotions; a mere copy of a human being. Even though his heart was beating, proving his humanity, he had never felt so close to being a mere automaton.

"No…that's not it," Cyborg grunted as he picked up one of the dumbbells from the ground. He clenched it hard with his metallic hand. He knew he loved Raven and that he would have done anything to bring her back. He set the dumbbells back onto its shelf in silence.

Cyborg had always been cynical. In a way, that was the most similar quality he shared with Raven. It was simply harder to see the darker side of Cyborg, who often hid back his pessimism behind a cheery grin. But now, with her absence, he knew what he had to do. The chances of her reappearing were slim. No matter how much he hoped his heart would tell him otherwise, no matter how hard he wished he would remain strong like the other Titans, the sardonic side of him could no longer hold back his insecurities and doubts. But why? Why was he feeling this way?

Perhaps he was selfish. He didn't want to prolong the search of his friend to only find nothing in the end. He thought that it would be best to end the process before it even began. Because the longer he held onto her, the longer he kept hoping, in the end, he would find nothing and his already empty heart would wither away into the dust. He was afraid of his own pain and misery in the future. Yes, the reason he _wouldn't _hope was because he was a coward.

And this was a satisfying answer to Cyborg. He would rather be a coward because the alternative was much worse; to not admit his cowardice would mean that he would have to admit a more horrid truth about himself – that he was never fully human but a cold monster disguised by mortal flesh – a tin man without a real heart, unable to truly love and have faith.

And he would never believe that to be true.

To stamp out hope himself, before it could die on its own...

Grief makes people irrational.

But this made sense.

He had a heart; a soul.

He would not hope.

He was just a coward.

It seemed logical.


End file.
